TechCrunch Disrupt 2025: Because the Main Event Isn’t Enough Bullshit

Oh, joy. Another year, another TechCrunch Disrupt where apparently the *official* programming isn’t enough to satisfy the VC-fueled egos and desperate startups. This article basically says if you can’t get a booth or stage time at the main circus – which let’s be honest, most of you won’t – you can throw your own pathetic little party offsite and pretend it matters.

They’re even giving you a form to submit these… *events*. A FORM. Like TechCrunch is doing you a favor by letting you advertise your desperate attempt at relevance near their conference. It’s all about “networking” and “community,” which translates to “more free marketing for TechCrunch” and “a chance for VCs to scout startups without actually having to *try*.”

Expect a bunch of poorly-lit happy hours with lukewarm beer, forced conversations, and people handing out business cards like they’re going out of style. The deadline is September 26th, so get your act together if you’re determined to waste your money and time. Honestly, just stay home.

Don’t expect any official support, mind you. You’re on your own. TechCrunch will probably list your event somewhere obscure on their website, then forget it exists the second a slightly shinier object catches their eye.

Seriously, this whole thing is just… ugh.

Source: TechCrunch

Speaking of desperate attempts at relevance, I once had a sysadmin try to convince me that hosting a LAN party in the server room would “improve morale.” The resulting heat load nearly melted the core router. I told him his morale could improve by actually fixing the backups. Some people just don’t get it.

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