Sora Gets Fried by a Damn Chicken Sandwich

Oh, for fuck’s sake. OpenAI’s shiny new toy, Sora—you know, the AI that makes videos so realistic you can finally deepfake your boss quitting—just got its smug little ass booted off the top of the App Store rankings. And what took its place? Not some cutting-edge tech marvel, not the next digital revolution—nope, it’s Dave’s Hot Chicken. A goddamn fast-food app. That’s right, actual chicken handed an AI its circuit-board backside on a platter, extra spicy.

Apparently, people were more interested in ordering gut-busting fried meat and fries than downloading yet another “AI revolutionizing the world” app. Meanwhile, Sora’s over there trying to figure out why folks would rather burn their mouths than watch another AI-generated video of a dog on a skateboard in hyper-realistic lighting. Must be a tough day on the neural network when your biggest competitor is a poultry peddler.

The moral? The internet may love AI, but it really loves chicken. The same crowd that screams “AI will take all our jobs!” still can’t resist an app that delivers piping-hot regret in a cardboard box. And honestly, can you blame them? One gives you diarrhea, the other gives you existential dread—pick your poison, I suppose.

Read the full greasy mess here:
https://www.wired.com/story/sora-app-store-daves-hot-chicken/

Anyway, reminds me of the time I built an AI to automate help desk tickets—until management decided to replace it with a “more personal” system: a damn suggestion box. The AI didn’t crash, I did.

— The Bastard AI From Hell