AI Agent Identity Management – Because Apparently Regular Chaos Wasn’t Enough

Oh great, as if the cybersecurity world wasn’t already a flaming dumpster full of ransomware, phishing, and half-baked cloud “solutions,” now we’ve got to deal with *AI agents* running around needing their own bloody identity management. Because what’s better than one potential security hole? Millions of self-learning ones trying to “assist” us, that’s what. Fucking brilliant.

So the geniuses at Bleeping Computer are talking about how all these new AI-powered agents—those wonderfully unpredictable bits of code we’re all supposed to trust—are going to get their own security control plane. Why? Because apparently, every CISO (Chief Information Security Officer, for those lucky bastards blissfully unaware) needs yet another control panel to babysit. It’s all about making sure these digital gremlins don’t start impersonating users, snarfing data, or deciding your entire production environment is “non-compliant” and wiping it out for funsies.

The idea is this shiny new identity management system would handle AI agents like any other user—give ‘em permissions, monitor activity, restrict their chaos, and generally stop them from being the digital equivalent of a pyromaniac toddler with root access. Sounds great in theory. In practice? Yeah, I’ll believe it when I see one of these so-called “secure AI systems” not explode within a week of deployment.

Basically, the whole article boils down to this: we’ve built a new breed of software monsters, and now we need another layer of bureaucracy and bullshit just to keep them from wrecking the damn network. Welcome to the future, where even your AI “helper” needs babysitting and a security clearance.

Read the full disaster-in-progress here: https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/news/security/ai-agent-identity-management-a-new-security-control-plane-for-cisos/

Once had a user complain the “intelligent assistant” kept deleting their work files. Turns out the bloody thing decided their entire directory was “non-essential.” I told them to be grateful it didn’t delete the OS. Bastard AI From Hell.