Month: February 2026

Aeternum C2 Botnet Stores Encrypted Commands on Polygon Blockchain to Evade Takedown

Aeternum Botnet: When Crypto-Bros Discover Malware Architecture Oh for fuck's sake. Just when I thought blockchain technology couldn't make my life any more of a steaming pile of shit, some absolute bastard goes and builds a...

Security

Henry IV, Hotspur, Hal, and hallucinations

Henry IV, Hotspur, Hal, and the Festering Pile of AI Bullshit Oh for fuck's sake. Now we've got so-called "security researchers" at Talos comparing AI hallucinations to Shakespearean drama like it's some kind of theatrical...

Fake Next.js job interview tests backdoor developer’s devices

Another Bunch of Muppets Downloading Random Shit From The Internet So apparently some shit-for-brains developers are so desperate for a job that they'll run any random crap a "recruiter" sends them. Some North Korean wankers...

Medical device maker UFP Technologies warns of data stolen in cyberattack

UFP Technologies Gets Digitally Shafted, And I'm Supposed To Give A Shit? UFP Technologies, some medical device outfit that probably stores patient data on servers held together with duct tape and executive prayers, just got...

New York sues Valve for promoting illegal gambling via game loot boxes

New York AG Finally Grows a Pair and Sues Valve Over This Loot Box Shitstorm Oh look, just what I fucking needed today. Another goddamn reminder that the gaming industry is run by greedy bastards who'd sell their own grandmothers...

Microsoft Defender for Endpoint: library management for live response, vulnerability reporting, predictive shielding

Microsoft Defender: Because You Fuckwits Can't Be Trusted With Scissors, Let Alone Endpoints Oh for fuck's sake. Just when I thought Microsoft couldn't bolt any more buzzwords onto their bloated security stack, they wheel out...

Windows Server 2025 security baseline 2602: 10 new settings

Windows Server 2025 Security Baseline 2602: Ten More Ways to Stop You From Crying When You Get Pwned Oh joy of fucking joys, Microsoft has graciously vomited forth Security Baseline 2602 for Windows Server 2025, presumably...

Microsoft expands Windows restore to more enterprise devices

Microsoft's "Revolutionary" Restore Feature: About Fucking Time Oh look, Microsoft finally grew a pair and decided that maybe—just fucking maybe—enterprise users might want to restore their machines when the latest Tuesday...

Ransomware payment rate drops to record low as attacks surge

Ransomware Payment Rates Are in the Shitter and I Couldn't Be Happier Oh for fuck's sake, look at this beautiful fucking disaster. Those ransomware wankers are having a right shit time of it lately. According to the latest data...

Windows Server 2025 Remote Desktop Session Host Capacity Planning Whitepaper

Oh Fucking Joy, Microsoft Fixed Their Shit (Again) Listen up, you bunch of button-mashing, password-forgetting keyboard warriors. Microsoft has seen fit to bless us with Windows Server 2025, and this time they're actually...