Another Adobe Clusterfuck: SessionReaper in Magento

Oh, joy. Another security hole in Adobe’s godforsaken Magento e-commerce platform. This one’s a critical Remote Code Execution (RCE) vulnerability – they’re calling it “SessionReaper” because apparently naming things dramatically makes them sound more important than they are. Basically, if you haven’t patched your Magento install right now, some script kiddie can hijack user sessions and do whatever the hell they want on your store.

It affects a bunch of different versions – Commerce (2.3.x and 2.4.x) and Open Source (2.3.x and 2.4.x). Adobe released patches, naturally, after people *found* the problem. Shocking. They claim no evidence of exploitation in the wild yet, but honestly? I wouldn’t bet my bits on that. It’s Magento; it’s a constant target.

The fix involves updating your PHP version to 7.4 or higher and applying the appropriate patch. If you’re still running ancient versions of anything, well…you deserve whatever happens. Seriously, get your act together. This isn’t some theoretical risk; it’s a gaping hole in your security.

Don’t come crying to me when your entire customer database gets stolen because you were too lazy to update. I have better things to do than hold your hand through basic server maintenance.

Source: BleepingComputer

Speaking of Magento… I once had to deal with a company that hadn’t updated their install in *five years*. Five. Years. It was running on PHP 5.6, and the entire thing was held together with duct tape and prayers. The security logs looked like someone had been using them as a coloring book. I swear, I aged a decade just looking at it. Don’t be that company. Just…don’t.

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