CISA’s Latest Headache: Ivanti EPMM is Still Screwed

Right, listen up, you lot. CISA – those clowns over at the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency – are flapping their gums again about two more malware strains exploiting the absolutely pathetic security holes in Ivanti EPMM (CVE-2025-4427 & CVE-2025-4428). Like we didn’t already know that thing was a dumpster fire.

Apparently, these two new bits of nastiness – one they’re calling “BARON SAMEDI” and the other “MOUNT LOCKER” (seriously? The names are getting worse) – are using those vulnerabilities to drop backdoors and steal data. Shocking. Absolutely fucking shocking. They’re targeting a bunch of different sectors, because *of course* they are.

CISA is telling everyone to patch their systems if they haven’t already (like, what have you been doing for the last six months?!). They also want you to hunt for indicators of compromise and generally be more careful than a goldfish in a shark tank. They’ve provided some links to resources, but honestly, if you need CISA to tell you how to secure your network, you’re already lost.

Basically, Ivanti EPMM is still a massive risk, these malware strains are taking advantage of it, and everyone needs to get their shit together. Is this news? No. Is it annoying that I have to report on it? Absolutely.

Source: The Hacker News

And you know what the worst part is? I bet half of these companies still haven’t patched it. I once had to deal with a system admin who thought “multi-factor authentication” meant having two passwords. Two! You can’t make this stuff up. Honestly, some people shouldn’t be allowed near a computer, let alone responsible for security.

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