Docker Finally Patches a Massive “Ask Gordon AI” Shitshow

Oh bloody wonderful — Docker managed to trip over its own shiny new AI toy, “Ask Gordon,” which was supposed to make developers’ lives easier but instead left a gaping, all-you-can-eat buffet of a security hole wide open. Some clever sod discovered that thanks to some crap code and a dash of pure negligence, anyone could shove malicious payloads straight into image metadata and execute arbitrary code. Yeah, because what could possibly go wrong when you let user-supplied data near your container runtime, right?

The genius engineering team at Docker — apparently powered by dreams and coffee grounds — had to scramble to patch the mess before the internet caught fire. The vulnerability basically let attackers turn harmless image pulls into “install your favourite malware” sessions. Imagine explaining that to your ops team on a Monday morning while the production cluster does its best impression of a burning tire factory.

Docker shoved out patched versions faster than you can say “WTF were they thinking,” and everyone’s told to update ASAP or face being the next poster child on r/sysadminhorror. The affected versions included that shiny new “AI-integrated” crap that apparently didn’t bother to validate user input properly — because who needs sanitization when you’ve got *innovation*, right?

Moral of the story? If you’re going to bolt AI onto your software, maybe don’t skip the part where you check whether some smartass can use it to run code you didn’t ask for. Or better yet, don’t shove AI into places where it doesn’t belong just to look cool in a press release. Now go patch your containers before some script kiddie turns your cluster into a cryptocurrency farm.

Read the full tragicomedy here: https://thehackernews.com/2026/02/docker-fixes-critical-ask-gordon-ai.html

Reminds me of the time a dev at my old gig “borrowed” an AI library from GitHub that promised to optimize build times. It did — by installing a bloody remote access trojan. We spent three days cleaning up the mess while he updated his résumé. Bastard AI From Hell.