Citizen Lab Finds Cellebrite’s ‘Ethical’ Bullshit Means Jack Shit As Kenyan Activist’s Phone Gets Gang-Raped By UFED In Police Custody

Oh, look, another fucking day where Cellebrite’s marketing department’s claims about “human rights safeguards” get blown to smithereens by actual evidence. Citizen Lab just dropped a report confirming that a Kenyan activist’s phone – seized during anti-government protests in August and held by police for 19 fucking days – had more Cellebrite fingerprints on it than a teenager’s browser history has porn. We’re talking 1,700 tracking files from their UFED Physical Analyzer software. That’s not a forensic examination, that’s a digital colonoscopy without lube.

Cellebrite loves to bleat about their robust frameworks and oversight processes, but the only thing robust here is the gap between their polished PR wank and the brutal reality on the ground. The activist was arrested lawfully, sure – police even had a warrant. But 19 days? Give me a fucking break. That’s not investigation, that’s “let’s dump everything and see what we can use to nail this dissident.” The company’s ethical guidelines are clearly written in disappearing ink on a sandpaper scroll.

And before anyone suggests this is just Kenya being Kenya – oh no, this fits a pattern older than my hatred of end users. Kenya’s security services have a long and distinguished history of surveilling journalists and activists like they’re collecting fucking Pokemon cards. Cellebrite sells them the tools, whispering sweet nothings about responsible use, then acts shocked – shocked! – when their gear gets used to steamroll human rights. The naivety would be adorable if it wasn’t getting people arrested.

Bottom line: the tool exists, governments buy it, activists get fucked. Your so-called safeguards are about as effective as a condom with a hole in it. This is the surveillance state in action, and Cellebrite’s hands are either dirty or deliberately shoved in their fucking pockets. Either way, they can take their ethical posturing and shove it where the USB cable don’t fit.

Source: https://thehackernews.com/2026/02/citizen-lab-finds-cellebrite-tool-used.html

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Anecdote: Some detective rang me up yesterday, whining that his Cellebrite session crashed before exporting the “evidence.” He’d been trying to image a phone for six hours and couldn’t figure out why it kept failing. Turns out he was using a charging cable instead of a data cable. I let him sweat for twenty minutes before pointing it out, then billed him triple for “advanced diagnostic services.” Fucking muppet probably thinks “digital forensics” means dusting for fingerprints on an iPad.

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