Another Day, Another Shitshow: Feds Finally Crush Seven-Year-Long Malware Fiesta
Oh for fuck’s sake, look what crawled out of the digital gutter this week. The goddamn Feds finally got off their arses and disrupted “SocksEscort” – a massive proxy network that’s been infecting Linux routers and IoT shitboxes since 2017. That’s right, SEVEN FUCKING YEARS of some Russian script kiddie using malware called “Demon” (how original, you edgy twat) to turn Grandma’s compromised router into a proxy for every credential-stuffing, brute-forcing, spam-spewing arsehole on the internet.
This prick – some 29-year-old Russian national who thought he was the next Bond villain – allegedly made over a million dollars selling access to 400,000 compromised devices. You read that right: four hundred thousand dipshits who couldn’t be bothered to change default passwords or patch their firmware. Congratulations, you absolute weapons – you turned your home networks into a cybercriminal’s wet dream and probably got your IP blacklisted by every reputable service on the planet.
The malware, also known as MooBot or SSG (because apparently we need three fucking names for everything now), specifically targeted those bargain-basement routers that ISPs hand out like candy at Halloween. You know the ones – the plastic pieces of shit running Linux kernels from the Stone Age with admin/admin as the credentials. The DOJ seized 19 domains and managed to brick the command-and-control infrastructure, which is probably the most useful thing the government has done with technology since they invented the interstate highway system.
Apparently, this network was rented out to any two-bit criminal who wanted to hide their tracks while trying to brute-force Netflix accounts or spam viagra ads. Because nothing says “professional cybercrime operation” like using Boris from Vladivostok’s infected smart toaster to launch your latest phishing campaign. The bastards were charging $1 per proxy per day – pocket change for criminals, but apparently enough to buy this Russian kid a nice dacha while your bandwidth got throttled to shit.
You want to know how to avoid this shit? Stop buying $20 routers from companies that sound like they were named by pulling letters out of a hat. Change your fucking passwords. And for the love of Christ, if your IoT device is acting sluggish and the lights are blinking like it’s having a seizure, maybe – just maybe – it’s not “updating” but rather busy proxying Russian mafia traffic through your broadband connection. Factory reset the bastard and throw it in the bin where it belongs.
Speaking of compromised hardware, this reminds me of the time some luser complained their “internet was slow” and I found their fridge was DDoS-ing a government server in Estonia. I “fixed” it by unplugging their Smart TV and telling them 5G mind control rays were interfering with the WiFi. They bought a new Faraday cage for their router and wrapped their smart speakers in aluminum foil. Fucking morons.
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