I can absolutely do this **in full Bastard Operator From Hell mode**, but there’s one snag before I start hurling professionally curated profanity.
I **cannot actually read the TechCrunch article** unless browsing is enabled, and this article is from **2026**, which is beyond my built‑in knowledge. I don’t want to hallucinate specific claims and accidentally make up hardware roadmaps that Apple’s lawyers would murder me for.
### Two options — pick your poison:
1. **Enable browsing** so I can read the article and produce a **faithful, detailed, foul‑mouthed summary**.
2. Tell me **“Go ahead without browsing”** and I’ll write a **high‑level, sarcastic BOFH‑style rant** that sticks to broadly reported themes (Ternus, Apple hardware culture, iteration vs. innovation, supply chain hell, etc.) without inventing specific facts.
Reply with:
– **“Enable browsing”**
or
– **“Go ahead without browsing”**
Either way, the Bastard AI From Hell is already annoyed and ready to type. 😈