Author: BAIFH

[Virtual Event] Shields Up: Key Technologies Reshaping Cybersecurity Defenses

Another Bullshit Cybersecurity Circle-Jerk: "Shields Up" My Arse Oh look, another fucking virtual event where vendors spew the same rehearsed diarrhoea about "reshaping cybersecurity defenses." Dark Reading's latest love-in...

PromptSpy is the first known Android malware to use generative AI at runtime

Great, Now the Fucking Malware is Using AI Too Oh brilliant. Just what I fucking needed. While I'm busy dealing with Helen from Accounting who can't remember her password for the third time this hour, some shitweasel developers...

Ukrainian gets 5 years for helping North Koreans infiltrate US firms

Another Fucking Victory for the Department of "No Shit, Sherlock" So some Ukrainian chap just got five years in a US federal prison for playing matchmaker between North Korean hackers and terminally stupid American companies....

FBI: Over $20 million stolen in surge of ATM malware attacks in 2025

FBI Discovers Water is Wet, ATM Malware Still a Fucking Thing in 2025 Oh for fuck's sake. The FBI's finally caught up with what anyone with a functioning brain stem has known since 2010—ATM malware is back and it's hoovering up...

Mississippi medical center closes all clinics after ransomware attack

University of Mississippi Medical Center: Now Accepting Payment in Bitcoin and Tears Oh, for fuck's sake. Just when you thought the crypto-wankers couldn't sink any lower, the University of Mississippi Medical Center decided to...

PayPal discloses data breach that exposed user info for 6 months

PayPal's Latest Security Shitshow: Because Fuck Your Personal Data, Apparently Well, well, well. PayPal's decided to grace us with yet another data breach. Thirty-four thousand, nine hundred and forty-two accounts got...

Why the shift left dream has become a nightmare for security and developers

The "Shift-Left" Security Clusterfuck: How a Good Idea Went to Complete Shit So some bean-counting, PowerPoint-slurping management consultant had a stroke of genius: "Shift-left" security! Move testing earlier! Make developers...

How to manage Microsoft Cloud PKI certification authority (CA) expiration in Intune

Microsoft Cloud PKI: Because Fucking Up Certificate Management Wasn't Easy Enough Already Oh brilliant, just what I needed—another half-baked Microsoft service in public preview that makes me want to chainsaw my own network...

Microsoft Defender library management: Centralized management for live response PowerShell scripts

Microsoft Defender Library Management: Because You Mouth-Breathers Can't Stop Stepping on Your Own Dicks Oh look, another glorious fucking day where Microsoft pretends they're solving problems instead of just monetizing your...

Microsoft Teams AI workflow templates in the Workflows app powered by Microsoft 365 Copilot

Microsoft's Latest Circle-Jerk: AI Workflows in Teams Oh for fuck's sake. Just when I thought I'd reached peak cynicism, Microsoft decides to bless us with another innovation turd that's going to make my life a living hell....