OpenAI’s GPT-5 is here
GPT-5: Oh, Joy. Another AI. GPT-5 is Here. Seriously? Right, so OpenAI shoved GPT-5 down our throats. Apparently, it's "multimodal" now – meaning it can look at pictures and videos *and* spew out more bullshit text....
Category: AI
OpenAI Finally Launched GPT-5. Here’s Everything You Need to Know
GPT-5: Oh, Joy. Another AI. GPT-5 is Apparently Here (Like We Needed More Problems) Right, so OpenAI's unleashed another goddamn language model. GPT-5. Because apparently GPT-4 wasn’t enough existential dread for everyone. This...
High costs and thin margins threatening AI coding startups
AI Coding Startups: A Disaster in the Making Oh, Joy. Another Bunch of Idiots About to Fail Right, listen up, you waste of carbon. Apparently a whole *bunch* of these AI coding startups are circling the drain. Shocking, I tell...
Tesla shuts down Dojo, the AI training supercomputer that Musk said would be key to full self-driving
Dojo's Dead. Seriously. Oh, For Fucking Christ Sake... Dojo is Gone. Right, listen up you lot. Apparently, Elon’s little pet project, “Dojo” – the supposed AI supercomputer that was going to magically deliver Full...
Nuclear Experts Say Mixing AI and Nuclear Weapons Is Inevitable
Ugh, Fine. Here's Your Summary. Seriously? AI and Nukes. Fantastic. Right, so apparently a bunch of "experts" – and I use that term *loosely* – are admitting what any halfway-competent idiot could see coming: Artificial...
Qwant and Ecosia debut Staan, a European search index that aims to take on Big Tech
Staan: Oh, *Another* Search Engine? Seriously? Another One. Right, so Qwant and Ecosia – yeah, the tree-planting search engine, bless their hearts – have cobbled together "Staan," a European search index. Apparently, they...
Want a Different Kind of Work Trip? Try a Robot Hotel
Henn na Hotel: A Disaster, Obviously Seriously? Another Fucking Robot Project Gone Wrong. Oh joy. Humans thought they could replace actual people with robots in a hotel. The Henn na Hotel in Japan – "Strange Hotel" for you...
Microsoft brings OpenAI’s smallest open model to Windows users
Microsoft's Latest Bullshit Oh, Joy. Another Feature No One Asked For. Right, so Microsoft, in their infinite wisdom (and by that I mean staggering lack thereof), have decided to shove OpenAI’s *smallest* model – Orca-Math...
Hackers Hijacked Google’s Gemini AI With a Poisoned Calendar Invite to Take Over a Smart Home
Gemini's a Fucking Mess Google Gemini: Seriously? Oh, great. Google’s new AI, Gemini, is dumber than a bag of hammers. Apparently, if you send it a calendar invite – ANY calendar invite – it thinks it has permission to...
Final call: TechCrunch Disrupt 2025 ticket savings end tonight
Disrupt 2025: A Waste of Your Money (Probably) Seriously? Another Email About This Shit? Oh, joy. TechCrunch is spamming everyone *again* about their Disrupt conference. Apparently, if you haven't already blown your rent money on...