Nothing's Latest Clusterfuck: An AI "Tool" Oh, *Great*. Another One. Right, so Nothing – yes, the phone company that peaked with hype and questionable design choices – has unleashed yet another piece of software on an...

Cerebras Systems: Still Bleeding Money Oh, For Fucking Christ' Sake – Cerebras Again Right, so these clowns at Cerebras Systems? The ones building that ridiculously oversized wafer-scale engine? They’ve managed to scrape...

Google's 'AI Ransomware Defense'? Don't Get Your Hopes Up Oh, *Great*. Google Thinks It Can Stop Ransomware Now. Right, so Google’s cooked up another AI thingy – this time supposedly to detect ransomware before it actually...

Adobe Premiere on iPhones? Seriously? Oh, Joy. Adobe's Finally Deigned to Port Premiere to iPhones Right, so after approximately *forever*, Adobe’s decided the iPhone is worthy of its flagship video editor, Premiere. Big...

Composite: Another Fucking Tool You Don't Need Seriously? *Another* Browser Testing Thing? Right, so some company called Composite – because apparently every tech startup needs a vaguely pretentious name these days – just...

Ugh, Another SaaS Platform Seriously? A CRM for *Trash* Companies? Right, so some outfit called CommanderAI – and the name is just begging for a bad sci-fi movie tie-in – thinks the waste management industry needs…a...

Disrupt 2025? Seriously? Oh, Joy. Another Tech Conference. Right, so apparently some people *still* want to pay money to listen to VCs and founders bullshit about "innovation" at TechCrunch Disrupt 2025 in San Francisco. Fine....

Disrupt 2025: A Warning (Because You People Can't Figure Things Out) Seriously? This is News? Oh, for the love of all that is holy. TechCrunch Disrupt 2025 is almost here, and apparently some startups are so monumentally clueless...

Alexa's Latest Descent Into Mediocrity Oh, Joy. Alexa is Now Shoved into More Fire TV Boxes. Right, so Amazon, in their infinite wisdom (read: desperate attempt to stay relevant), are cramming a "new and improved" Alexa...

Character AI: Still a Fucking Time Sink Seriously? More Talking Robots. Oh, joy. Another article about Character AI. Apparently, they're still around, letting people have pretend conversations with digital personalities....