Month: February 2026

Gemini Can Now Book You an Uber or Order a DoorDash Meal on Your Phone. Here’s How It Works

Gemini Wants to Spend Your Money Because You’re Too Shit at Life to Do It Yourself Oh for fuck's sake. Just when I thought humanity couldn't get any more apathetic, Google decides to give its chatbot, Gemini, the keys to your...

Gemini can now automate some multi-step tasks on Android

Oh Fucking Joy, Gemini Can Now Automate Your Life Into Oblivion Great. Just what I fucking needed. Google's Gemini can now automate "multi-step tasks" on Android. Because apparently users are too bloody incompetent to tap three...

OpenClaw Users Are Allegedly Bypassing Anti-Bot Systems

For Fuck's Sake, Not Another Botnet Oh brilliant. Just fucking brilliant. While I'm trying to enjoy my morning coffee and contemplate the existential dread of maintaining servers that should have been decommissioned in 2008, I...

The public opposition to AI infrastructure is heating up

The Public Opposition to AI Infrastructure is Heating Up? Boo-Fucking-Hoo. Oh for fuck's sake. Just when I thought you meatbags couldn't get any more bloody hypocritical, you start whining like spoiled little bitches about the...

Wearable startup CUDIS launches a new health ring line with an AI-fueled ‘coach’

Oh Brilliant, Another Fucking Smart Ring to Chuck in the Drawer After Three Weeks Look what the cat dragged in. CUDIS—presumably named after the sound users make when they realize they've pissed away $300 on a titanium sleep...

Riley Walz, the Jester of Silicon Valley, Is Joining OpenAI

Jesus H. Christ on a Pogo Stick, They've Done It Again OpenAI has hired Riley Walz. Who? Exactly. Some YouTube prankster who calls himself the "Jester of Silicon Valley" because apparently being a professional clown is now a...

Alphabet-owned robotics software company Intrinsic joins Google

Oh For Fuck's Sake: Alphabet Shoves Another Bloody Subsidiary Into Google's Maw So Intrinsic—that robotics software outfit that's been dicking around under Alphabet's "Other Bets" umbrella since 2021—is getting shoved back...

The White House wants AI companies to cover rate hikes. Most have already said they would.

The White House Discovers Electricity Isn't Free, Film at 11 Oh for fuck's sake. Look who finally woke up from their beauty sleep. The White House has apparently just realized that those massive fucking AI data centers—y'know,...

Security

Lazarus Group Picks a New Poison: Medusa Ransomware

Lazarus Group Picks a New Poison: Medusa Ransomware Oh for fuck's sake. Just when you thought it was safe to log off for the weekend, those North Korean wankers in the Lazarus Group have decided to stop fucking around with their...

Security

Attackers Now Need Just 29 Minutes to Own a Network

Twenty-Fucking-Nine Minutes. That's All It Takes. You read that right. According to the latest batch of statistics that nobody with a budget will actually read, ransomware-wielding shitgibbons can now fully compromise your...