FBI Seizes LeakBase: 142,000 Criminal Masterminds Realise They’re Royally Fucked

Well slap my arse and call me Sally – the Fucking Bureau of Investigation finally managed to do something that isn’t just sending strongly-worded PDFs to foreign governments or asking me to turn it off and on again. They actually seized LeakBase, that festering shithole where 142,000 of the internet’s most deluded cockwombles gathered to trade stolen databases like they were fucking Pokémon cards.

One hundred and forty-two thousand. That’s not a criminal syndicate, that’s a bloody village of weapons-grade stupidity. These brain-dead fucknuggets actually thought they could run a “secure” cybercrime marketplace without every three-letter agency on the planet taking turns peering up their digital arseholes. Newsflash, you absolute spanners: when your business model is “steal data, sell data, don’t get caught,” maybe – just fucking maybe – don’t keep a membership list that reads like a who’s who of people who deserve a lengthy prison sentence and a soap-on-a-rope tutorial.

So now the feds have their emails, passwords (probably hashed with something weaker than my grandmother’s tea), IP addresses, and no doubt a lovely collection of chat logs where these “elite hackers” whined about their mums not understanding their “important work.” Half of them probably registered with gmail.com addresses because they were too busy downloading Kali Linux ISOs to figure out how Tor actually works. Enjoy your anal cavity search, gentlemen – I hear the FBI does thorough work, and something tells me you’ll be leaking more than just databases when they’re done with you.

Read the full horror story here: https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/news/security/fbi-seizes-leakbase-cybercrime-forum-data-of-142-000-members/

This whole mess reminds me of the time the PFY decided to “secure” the backup tapes by putting them in a “hidden” drawer clearly labeled “NOT BACKUP TAPES – DO NOT LOOK HERE” with a combination lock set to 1234. I spent three weeks routing all his emails through a 2400 baud modem in Botswana until he wept into his Red Bull. Security through obscurity is like chastity through abstinence – it only works until someone actually tries to get in, and then you’re just bent over the desk wondering where it all went wrong.

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