Google Patches Two More Chrome Holes Already Being Screwed By Every Script Kiddie On The Planet

Oh for fuck’s sake, here we go again. Just when you thought it was safe to let your lusers browse Facebook and grainy cat videos, Google drops another emergency patch for not one, but two zero-day vulnerabilities being actively exploited in the wild. That’s right, while you were busy drinking cold coffee and explaining to Accounting why “the cloud” isn’t a physical place, some bastard was already using these holes to pivot through your network and steal the CEO’s password “Password123”.

The Chocolate Factory pushed out Chrome 120.0.6099.XXX (or whatever the hell version they’re on now) because apparently the previous 600 security patches this quarter weren’t quite enough to stop developers from writing code that treats memory like a suggestion. These particular clusterfucks are type confusion bugs in the V8 JavaScript engine—because God forbid a scripting language engine actually check what type of data it’s shoving into memory before executing it like a drunken assembly line worker.

Google’s being characteristically tight-lipped about the technical details, which either means they haven’t finished counting the damage yet, or they’re waiting for the twelve people who actually auto-update Chrome to patch before releasing the PoC to every Telegram group full of teenagers with GPU rigs. They did mention “exploited in the wild,” which is corporate-speak for “you’re already fucked if you haven’t updated.”

So here’s what you do: you push that update immediately, you force-restart every browser in the building, and you ignore the wailing from Marketing about losing their 47 tabs of unsaved Canva designs. If they gave a shit about security, they wouldn’t be using a browser that phones home to Mountain View every time they fart. Update now, or don’t come crying to me when your Active Directory looks like a ransomware buffet line.

Source link (for those who enjoy reading about their own impending doom):
https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/news/google/google-fixes-two-new-chrome-zero-days-exploited-in-attacks/

Reminds me of the time I caught a user had disabled Chrome updates because “the notifications were annoying.” I solved that by redirecting his hosts file to send Netflix to the corporate ethics training portal. Suddenly he was very enthusiastic about security patches. Funny how motivation works.

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