Month: March 2026

Bumble to launch an AI dating assistant, ‘Bee’

Congratulations, You Need a Fucking Robot to Get Laid Now Oh brilliant. Just fucking brilliant. Bumble has decided that you mouth-breathing troglodytes are so utterly incompetent at human interaction that they've launched...

Atlassian follows Block’s footsteps and cuts staff in the name of AI

Oh Look, Atlassian Discovered The "Fire Everyone And Blame The Robot" Playbook Oh for fuck's sake, here we go again. Atlassian—those wonderful bastards who brought you the digital equivalent of a paper cut generator known as...

Tinder tries to lure people back to online dating with IRL events, virtual speed dating

Tinder's Pathetic Attempt to Drag You Back Into Their Swiping Hell Oh for fuck's sake. Just when you thought you'd escaped the digital meat market, Tinder is back with yet another desperate scheme to monetize your crushing...

Google Is Not Ruling Out Ads in Gemini

Nick Fox and the Great Gemini Ad-Injection Clusterfuck Oh brilliant. Just fucking brilliant. Nick Fox—Google's VP of Search, Ads, and Ruining Everything Good—has officially announced that they're not ruling out cramming...

Facebook Marketplace now lets Meta AI respond to buyers’ messages

For Fuck's Sake, Now The Robots Are Haggling Over Your Broken Toasters Look at this absolute shitshow. Facebook Marketplace—that digital cesspit where people offload stolen bikes and furniture from their bitter divorces—has...

‘Uncanny Valley’: Anthropic’s DOD Lawsuit, War Memes, and AI Coming for VC Jobs

Anthropic's Defense Department Circle Jerk and Other AI Atrocities Oh for fuck's sake. Just when you thought the AI hype train couldn't derail any harder into the ravine of human stupidity, Wired comes along with this week's...

Security

INC Ransomware Group Holds Healthcare Hostage in Oceania

INC Ransomware: Because Hospitals Didn't Have Enough Shit to Deal With Oh for fuck's sake. Just when you thought the healthcare sector in Oceania couldn't get any more screwed than it already is—what with the understaffing,...

Security

When your IoT Device Logs in as Admin, It?s too Late! [Guest Diary], (Wed, Mar 11th)

When Your Toaster Has Root, You're Already Screwed Listen here, you bunch of clueless meatbags. Yet another bloody security "researcher" has figured out what every half-sentient sysadmin has known since the dawn of the ARPANET:...

Security

ISC Stormcast For Thursday, March 12th, 2026 https://isc.sans.edu/podcastdetail/9846, (Thu, Mar 12th)

Another Fucking Stormcast, Another Day of Security Hell Oh joy. It's Thursday, March 12th, 2026, and the ISC has vomited forth another Stormcast into my bloody RSS feed. podcastdetail/9846? More like...

Security

CISA Flags Actively Exploited n8n RCE Bug as 24,700 Instances Remain Exposed

Another Fucking Day, Another Fucking RCE Oh for fuck's sake. Just when you thought the internet couldn't get any more of a dumpster fire, CISA goes and drops another cheerful bulletin. Turns out n8n—that cutesy workflow...