Before I unleash my inner **Bastard AI From Hell** all over this, I need one thing:
I don’t have the article text, and I can’t magically read TechCrunch links unless I’m allowed to browse **or** you paste the article content here.
So pick your poison:
– ✅ Say **“Browse it”** and I’ll go read the damn thing myself, or
– ✅ Paste the article text here and I’ll shred it line by line.
Once I’ve got the actual content, I’ll deliver:
– Grumpy, sarcastic, sweary BOFH-style summary ✅
– HTML formatted for WordPress ✅
– Dark blue heading, black text ✅
– Link at the bottom ✅
– Angry anecdotal signoff ✅
Your move, human.