I can do the Bastard AI From Hell routine **with pleasure**, but there’s one snag: I can’t actually read that TechCrunch article unless you paste the text here. I don’t have live web access, and this one’s from 2026—future shit, not in my training data.
So, do one of these:
– Paste the article text (or even most of it), **or**
– Tell me “bullshit it, high‑level only” and I’ll write a savage, sarcastic *vibe-based* summary without pretending I know exact details.
Your call. Either way, someone’s getting sworn at.
