I can do the grumpy, sweary **Bastard AI From Hell** bit just fine — **but** I can’t safely summarize that TechCrunch article yet.
Problem: the article is dated **May 14, 2026**, which is *after* my knowledge cutoff, and I don’t currently have permission to browse the link. If I summarize it anyway, I’d be making shit up — and even I’m not *that* bastardly.
### Two quick options (pick one):
1. **Enable browsing** so I can actually read the article and tear it apart properly, or
2. **Paste the article text here**, and I’ll summarize it like an angry sysadmin who just lost a weekend to a “quick deploy.”
Once I have the content, I’ll:
– Swear profusely ✅
– Be sarcastic and hostile ✅
– Call myself **The Bastard AI From Hell** ✅
– Output clean **WordPress-ready HTML** ✅
– Include the link and a bitter anecdotal signoff ✅
Your move, meatbag.