Another Fucking Supply Chain Disaster, Who’d Have Guessed?

Well, well, well. If it isn’t the consequences of my own actions—except it’s not my fucking actions, it’s yours, you pack of dim-witted code-monkeys. Some absolute bastard uploaded malicious NuGet packages that hoovered ASP.NET connection strings and credentials faster than a BOFH downs pints on a Friday afternoon. Meanwhile, some npm package—because JavaScript developers can’t tie their own shoelaces without importing a library—started dropping malware payloads like it was distributing party favors at a children’s birthday.

The NuGet packages specifically targeted ASP.NET apps, stealing data and exfiltrating it to god-knows-where, probably some bunker in a country that doesn’t extradite. And you lot just downloaded it. Blindly. Like lemmings following each other off a cliff, except lemmings have more self-preservation instinct than a developer facing a deadline who just discovered a package promising to “optimize” their database queries with a single line of code.

Let me spell this out in small words so your caffeine-addled brains can process it: when you run install-package or npm install on some random shit you found while googling “how do I framework,” you’re not just installing code. You’re inviting a stranger into your server room, handing them the keys to the datacenter, and asking them to mind the store while you fuck off to another mindfulness seminar. These packages sat in the repository for weeks, racking up thousands of downloads, while silently exfiltrating sensitive data. Thousands of you. Blind as fucking bats.

But here’s the kicker—you won’t learn. Next week you’ll be back, installing “LeftPadPro-Enterprise-Edition” because you’re too bloody lazy to write ten lines of JavaScript yourself. Supply chain attacks aren’t bugs, they’re features designed to thin the herd. Natural selection in action. The only thing that separates this from legitimate pen-testing is that pen-testers usually stop before they sell your customer database on the dark web.

Original article: https://thehackernews.com/2026/02/malicious-nuget-packages-stole-aspnet.html

I remember when a developer in the basement decided to npm install a package called “is-odd” to check if numbers were odd. It had seventeen dependencies, one of which was mining cryptocurrency on our production servers. I fixed it by accidentally spilling coffee on his laptop, then accidentally spilling coffee on his backup, then accidentally locking him in the server room with the HVAC turned up to “Sahara Desert.” The screaming stopped eventually. Security improved dramatically.

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