Category: IT

Microsoft Defender for Endpoint: library management for live response, vulnerability reporting, predictive shielding

Microsoft Defender: Because You Fuckwits Can't Be Trusted With Scissors, Let Alone Endpoints Oh for fuck's sake. Just when I thought Microsoft couldn't bolt any more buzzwords onto their bloated security stack, they wheel out...

Windows Server 2025 security baseline 2602: 10 new settings

Windows Server 2025 Security Baseline 2602: Ten More Ways to Stop You From Crying When You Get Pwned Oh joy of fucking joys, Microsoft has graciously vomited forth Security Baseline 2602 for Windows Server 2025, presumably...

Microsoft expands Windows restore to more enterprise devices

Microsoft's "Revolutionary" Restore Feature: About Fucking Time Oh look, Microsoft finally grew a pair and decided that maybe—just fucking maybe—enterprise users might want to restore their machines when the latest Tuesday...

Ransomware payment rate drops to record low as attacks surge

Ransomware Payment Rates Are in the Shitter and I Couldn't Be Happier Oh for fuck's sake, look at this beautiful fucking disaster. Those ransomware wankers are having a right shit time of it lately. According to the latest data...

Windows Server 2025 Remote Desktop Session Host Capacity Planning Whitepaper

Oh Fucking Joy, Microsoft Fixed Their Shit (Again) Listen up, you bunch of button-mashing, password-forgetting keyboard warriors. Microsoft has seen fit to bless us with Windows Server 2025, and this time they're actually...

Olympique Marseille confirms ‘attempted’ cyberattack after data leak

Olympique Marseille Gets Royally Shafted by Cyber-Morons Oh for fuck's sake. Another day, another bunch of overpaid sports administrators who think "cybersecurity" means having a padlock on the stadium gates. Olympique...

Critical Juniper Networks PTX flaw allows full router takeover

European DYI chain ManoMano data breach impacts 38 million customers

ManoMano's DIY Security: How to Fuck Up 3.8 Million Records with a Single Click Oh for fuck's sake. Just when I'd finished clearing the latest batch of malware that the sales department installed by clicking on...

Trend Micro warns of critical Apex One code execution flaws

Apex One? More Like Apex Done: Trend Micro Drops Another Shit Sandwich Oh for fuck's sake. Just when you thought your endpoint protection wasn't a glorified rootkit with a marketing budget, Trend Micro goes and announces not one,...

Previously harmless Google API keys now expose Gemini AI data

Google API Keys: Because Apparently "Harmless" Was Just a Temporary State Oh for fuck's sake. Just when you thought Google's API infrastructure couldn't get more of a clusterfuck, some bright spark decided that those "harmless"...