Month: February 2026

Microsoft Defender library management: Centralized management for live response PowerShell scripts

Microsoft Defender Library Management: Because You Mouth-Breathers Can't Stop Stepping on Your Own Dicks Oh look, another glorious fucking day where Microsoft pretends they're solving problems instead of just monetizing your...

Microsoft Teams AI workflow templates in the Workflows app powered by Microsoft 365 Copilot

Microsoft's Latest Circle-Jerk: AI Workflows in Teams Oh for fuck's sake. Just when I thought I'd reached peak cynicism, Microsoft decides to bless us with another innovation turd that's going to make my life a living hell....

Data breach at French bank registry impacts 1.2 million accounts

French Bank Shits the Bed, 12 Million Accounts Compromised Oh, for fuck's sake. Just when you thought the security landscape couldn't get any more septic, another bunch of clueless muppets with "bank" in their name go and prove...

CISA: BeyondTrust RCE flaw now exploited in ransomware attacks

BeyondTrust RCE: Because Apparently Patching Is Still Too Fucking Hard Oh brilliant, another day, another remote code execution vulnerability being actively exploited. The clowns at CISA are now officially confirming what anyone...

Japanese tech giant Advantest hit by ransomware attack

Advantest Takes a Ransomware Shitstorm Right in the Supply Chain Jesus H. Christ on a fucking cracker. Advantest, the Japanese semiconductor test gear behemoth with more cash than sense, just got their digital rectum rearranged...

OpenAI deepens India push with Pine Labs fintech partnership

OpenAI and Pine Labs Team Up to Fuck Indian Merchants With AI Slop Oh joy. Just what the world fucking needed. OpenAI has decided that gouging Western users with ChatGPT Plus subscriptions wasn't enough, so now they're crawling...

OpenAI taps Tata for 100MW AI data center capacity in India, eyes 1GW

OpenAI Wants 100MW of Data Center Capacity in India Because Apparently Running a Goddamn Chatbot Requires a Small Country's Worth of Electricity So here we are again. OpenAI—those wankers who brought you the digital equivalent...

This AI Tool Will Tell You to Stop Slacking Off

Great, Another Fucking AI to Make You Feel Like Shit So some wanker who got laid off decided the world needed yet another digital overseer, because apparently having your actual boss breathe down your neck wasn't torturous...

Reliance unveils $110B AI investment plan as India ramps up tech ambitions

Reliance's $110B AI "Investment": A Masterclass in Corporate Masturbation Oh, look. Another corporate press release that reads like a Viagra-fueled wet dream of a middle manager who thinks "disruption" is a personality trait....

Freeform raises $67M Series B to scale up laser AI manufacturing

Freeform Raises $67M to Point Lasers at Shit and Call It "AI Manufacturing" Oh, fantastic. Another fucking day, another fucking AI startup gets a dump truck of cash to "revolutionize" something that's been working fine for...