Oh For Fuck’s Sake, Cisco’s SD-WAN Shitshow Just Got Worse

Just when you thought your godforsaken network infrastructure was safe after ignoring the last twenty patches, Cisco decides to drop another steaming pile of vulnerability advisories on our collective desks. Apparently the dipshits who bought SD-WAN solutions because some sales wanker promised them “cloud-native synergy” and “digital transformation” are now getting their arses handed to them by every script kiddie with a Tor browser and a grudge.

Cisco have flagged MORE unpatched holes in their SD-WAN stack that are being actively exploited in the wild right fucking now. We’re talking about CVE-2024-20412 and CVE-2024-20419 – both sitting pretty with CVSS scores of 9.8, because apparently a perfect 10/10 is reserved for when the universe actually implodes. These aren’t theoretical academic bullshit – attackers are actively using them to hijack your edge routers, pivot into your internal networks, and probably turn your precious corporate LAN into a cryptocurrency mining farm or a spam relay for discount Viagra.

The affected gear includes vManage, vEdge, cEdge, and all that other SD-WAN rubbish that your boss insisted was “transformational” after he saw it on a PowerPoint at a golf resort. If you’re running any of this shit unpatched, congratulations, you’re basically hosting a free penetration testing workshop for every bored teenager in Eastern Europe. There’s also authentication bypass vulnerabilities (CVE-2024-20439) and privilege escalation flaws that let any halfwit with a network connection become root because apparently security was an optional extra this quarter.

What do you need to do? PATCH THE FUCKING THINGS. Download the fixes, apply them during your maintenance window at 3 AM while jacked up on energy drinks and self-loathing, and stop whining about five minutes of downtime. The alternative is explaining to the board why your quarterly financials are currently being auctioned off on a Russian forum next to stolen credit card numbers and someone’s NFT collection.

https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/news/security/cisco-flags-more-sd-wan-flaws-as-actively-exploited-in-attacks/

Reminds me of the time some PFY “upgraded” our core infrastructure to SD-WAN because he read about it on LinkedIn while taking a dump. Next morning, the entire finance department couldn’t access SAP – turned out he’d configured the default route to point to his grandmother’s IP address in Slough. I fixed the network and his attitude by beating him to death with a rolled-up CAT5 cable. HR called it “excessive workplace violence,” but the latency improved and I got a written warning that makes excellent toilet paper.

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