Category: AI

The White House Discovers Electricity Isn't Free, Film at 11 Oh for fuck's sake. Look who finally woke up from their beauty sleep. The White House has apparently just realized that those massive fucking AI data centers—y'know,...

OpenClaw: When "AI Security Research" Means "Fucking Up Your Own Inbox for Science" Oh, look. Another day, another AI shitshow. Some Meta "security researcher" - and Christ, those air quotes are so heavy I need both hands -...

Nimble Raises $47M to Solve a Problem That Exists Only in PowerPoint Oh for fuck's sake. Another day, another gang of smooth-talking hustlers has managed to vacuum $47 million out of VC pockets by slapping "AI" on what my...

New Relic Shits Out Another "Revolutionary" AI Platform Because Apparently Watching Things Break Wasn't Profitable Enough So New Relic has launched yet another fucking platform—this time for "AI agents"—because god knows the...

Another Fucking AI Music Generator Joins the Clown Car at Google Labs Oh look, just what the world fucking needed - ProducerAI has been assimilated into the Google borg collective. Because apparently Gemini wasn't already...

OpenAI COO Says AI Hasn't Penetrated Enterprise Yet - And This Is News? So OpenAI's very own Chief Operations Twat, Brad Lightcap, gets up in front of a bunch of stuffed shirts at a conference and announces—with a straight...

Google Adds Automation to Opal, Because Apparently Clicking Shit Yourself is Too Hard Now Oh, for fuck's sake. Google just announced they're cramming "automated workflows" into Opal—whatever the hell Opal actually is this...

Anthropic Tells Pentagon to Get Stuffed While the Brass Has a Hissy Fit So the fucking Pentagon's knickers are in a twist again. This time, those beltway bandits are throwing a full-blown tantrum because Anthropic—those...

How AI Agents Could Fuck the Economy Six Ways from Sunday Oh, for fuck's sake. Just when I thought humanity couldn't get any more spectacularly boneheaded, some bright spark at TechCrunch decides to pen a love letter to our...

TechCrunch Disrupt 2026: Yet Another Circle Jerk for the VC-Addled Masses Oh look, five whole fucking days left to lock in the "lowest" ticket rates for TechCrunch Disrupt 2026. Because nothing screams "innovation" quite like a...